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Health & Fitness

A new mom finds support at BIDMC

This blog post is written by Julia Callwood, a BIDMC patient and graduate of the Parent Connection.

I first came to hear about the Parent Connection’s new moms group through a flyer at my OB’s office. Being from out of state and having lived in Massachusetts only a couple of years, my social network wasn’t as large or as intimate as I had been accustomed to, and I knew it would only become smaller once I had a baby. This is why I had planned to join a new moms group right from the beginning of my pregnancy.

After delivering my son, we had some nursing problems. A lactation consultant at BIDMC asked if I had family in the area for support. She then proceeded to tell me about the new moms group which is led by a BIDMC social worker and suggested that I check it out. The first few weeks postpartum were busy—my mom was in town, I had nursing problems, my son lost weight and we had numerous visits to the doctors.  Because of my extremely elevated level of anxiety (not to mention swollen feet and ankles that wouldn’t allow me to wear anything besides flip-flops, in the middle of December, for three weeks), we waited until my son was six weeks old before going to our first moms group. 

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Before I joined, I contacted the Parent Connection’s director, Christine Sweeney, directly via email, to inquire about the group, ask what age is best to first join, etc. Her response was so endearing and welcoming, I couldn’t wait to finally get out of the house and go to the group. I knew that Christine knew her stuff when she wrote that she would see me the following week if I was able to make it out of the house, and if not, no problem. I thought, “This person knows new moms and newborns!” 

Before my first group meeting, I had expected that all the moms knew each other and had everything figured out, and I would be asking all the questions. I soon realized that everyone else was going through their own struggles with mommyhood, from nursing to introducing solids; from tummy time to crawling; from annoying extended family members to pediatrician annoyances. Everyone had some sort of struggle, but they also had a new joy that they wanted to share: the first rolling over during tummy time, finding a vegetable their baby would eat, making it through a round of immunizations, getting four hours of sleep at a stretch, going to the supermarket alone with baby, and going to the supermarket AND the drugstore in one day.

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My son was the youngest in the group for the first few months, so I would hear a lot about what we had to look forward to. This allowed me to receive a wealth of suggestions for various struggles that other moms had already faced. We saw each other week after week after week. We became very comfortable with one another. My anxiety became less and less. As my son got older and new moms joined the group, I was able to give them ideas, suggestions, and the support that I had received in the group. It was another boost to know that I was helping a fellow new mom with her own struggles. 

The new moms group helped me in countless ways. During particular challenges, it would often help to remember that all the other moms in the group faced the same new mommy struggles (this really helped during all the night feedings and sleep deprivation). It wasn’t about me not being able to handle being a mom. It was as simple as being a new mom with all new experiences. And it was okay to feel overwhelmed, confused, and exhausted. I realized that having the support from other new moms was essential to my confidence as a mom. There’s something about being a new mom that begs everyone you come across to lend advice, opinions, and comments. Having a network of moms who understood exactly where I was in the mommyhood process was the best thing I could have asked for—not only for myself, but for my family and for my new born.

As some of the moms began to graduate, they expressed their sadness at not being able to be part of the group anymore. Those of us who went through the group together decided to continue to meet once a week outside of group. Even now that we have all graduated, we continue to get together once a week. It’s more of a playdate, but we still share our frustrations and joys, and give each other advice and support.

I owe where I am today as a mother to my wonderful experience with the Parent Connection’s new moms group at BIDMC.

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